Are you going through a divorce or a never ending custody battle? Has your ex made numerous attempts to try and get sole custody? Did the other parent manipulate your children to create problems during transition periods or have they started making off the wall comments. Has all of this culminated in fabricated sexual abuse allegations where you spent a year and half fighting to get your kids back only to have your ex file for sole custody again?
Any one of this events or situations would challenge a persons ability to co-parent effectively. If you have experienced any of these no doubt you have thought about retribution against your ex or at the very least wanted say something negative about the other parent in front of the kids? Over the past four years I have been through all of what I mentioned above. During this time I never once said anything negative about my ex-wife. I never attempted to manipulate the kids or turn them against her. I know your thinking thats impossible to deal with that and not at least once seek some sort of revenge.
So how does one remain a good co-parent when facing the onslaught of parental alienation? The first and most important step is to remember who is really important and that is the children. As parents our children's welfare and development should always be first. Every decision or action I take revolves around my children. Before reacting or over-reacting to something the other parent does you have to consider the effect on the children. Children are extremely impressionable and learn how to interact with the world through observing their parents. To consistently be a good co-parent you have to put your children first regardless of how selfish the other parent maybe and always be above their evil intensions.
Secondly, you must protect your children by protecting yourself. When parental alienation starts to rear it's evil head it will affect the entire family unit. Your instinct is to protect your children from it but the best way to protect them is actually by protecting yourself. As the only parent who has the well-being of the children at heart its imperative you take the necessary steps. So how do you accomplish this. Well immediately start thinking three to four moves ahead. Try to anticipate what your ex may do or use against you. You should also start documenting any peculiar behavior. There are a number of ways to document evidence of parental alienation. I would audio record off the wall comments by my children and eventually started recording transitions. Of course you need to check applicable state laws before engaging in these steps.
The very best form of documentation is video. I really wish I would have employed this much sooner. It would have spared my children from what they have endured over the past year and half. I recommend the second you think parental alienation is occurring is to get a reliable camera system in your home and start recording your visits with the kids. I waited to after the abuse allegation were made and my children were taken away from me before I started recording supervised visits. Ultimately this did help me eventually prove that children had made false statements on subsequent allegations. This is not only a way to protect yourself but is undeniable proof of the type of parent you are and how much your children love you. I believe this would be invaluable evidence when the other parent files for sole custody. If unsure what type of camera system to get you should check out my review of the nest cam.
Finally, if you have taken the steps above the last thing to do is have faith and understanding. You need to have faith that the steps you have taken will ensure that truth will out. If you stay the course, take the high road, and protect yourself the other parents action will eventually come back to haunt them. A parent also needs understanding that being patient and not engaging in manipulation and parental alienation is the best course of action. You have to be in it for the long haul and know if you stoop to the level of the other parent that you will fail miserably. Despite all your urges to retaliate you just have do right by your children.
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